Old 11-17-2005, 12:40 PM   #1
J
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Default Locomotive Defects and Repairs

Received the following e-mail. It reminds me of similiar supposed corresondence covering air crew write ups (squaks) of aircraft issues. I suspect it is Bravo Sierra but it remains amusing.

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Here are some actual locomotive defect reports logged into the computer (marked with a D) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by roundhouse employees.

D: Front air hose almost needs replacement.
S: Front air hose almost replaced.

D: Something loose in cab.
S: Something tightened in cab.

D: Evidence of oil leak.
S: Evidence removed.

D: Alerter volume unbelievably loud.
S: Alerter volume set to more believable level.

D: Suspected crack in #1 axle R-side brake shoe.
S: Suspect you're right.

D: Engine missing.
S: Engine found after brief search in engine compartment.

D: Radio constantly hums.
S: Changed radio to channel with lyrics.

D: Sanders won't turn off
S: Charged sanders with Level-5 insubordination

D: Hint of flat spots #3 axle
S: Hint of repair #3 axle

D: Bell only works occasionally
S: Bell only repaired occasionally

D: Horn is really loud
S: Closed all windows

D: Cannot depress independent brake valve
S: Replaced cheerful brake valve with depressed brake valve

D: Gauge light burned out
S: Gauge light placed on vacation

D: Windshield wipers won't work
S: Windshield wipers given stern warning

D: Lots of smoke coming out the stack
S: That is where it is supposed to come out

D: Think the amp gauge is off
S: Think it's on

D: Wheel slip light keeps coming on
S: Replaced wheel slip light
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Old 11-17-2005, 04:59 PM   #2
Pat Lorenz
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That is a really funny post, i sure would love to work in that repair department, they are a bunch of funny guys.
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Old 11-17-2005, 07:03 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J

D: Bell only works occasionally
S: Bell only repaired occasionally
Sure, that is how bells work!
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Old 11-17-2005, 07:57 PM   #4
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That's funny stuff, but don't be fooled into thinking it's true. It's almost verbatim from the aircraft write-up list that has been circulating for years, with the probelms and instruments adjusted for trains. The locomotive-specific ones are funny, but certainly made up.
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